Having intrusive thoughts when you are going through betrayal trauma is not unusual, nor is it a sign of abnormality. You might be feeling fine one moment, and in the very next instant, you are hit with distressing visuals and thoughts of your partner with someone else. The emotional pain you feel is indescribable, and no one can experience it the way you do in those situations. The extreme helplessness of suffering from pain due to choices out of your control cannot be explained in words. But your body is responding to those silent feelings of deep hurt within your very being.
The pain can manifest in physical symptoms; some days you are able to function better, but some days are just so hard. There are constant reminders of betrayal around us in the form of music, TV shows, movies, and other people’s experiences. While it is not unusual, only you know what it feels like to experience the intense pain that comes unbidden. It lives deep within your very being, and it’s visceral. You need time to heal and to go through this pain to be able to recognise that you have the power to alleviate it through acceptance.
As hard as it sounds, the more you resist and protect yourself from feeling the pain, the more it will magnify. Remind yourself that you have the power to bring yourself out of this situation, but the process takes time and can get very challenging. When you get those intrusive thoughts, let them come, acknowledge that you’re having these thoughts, and let yourself know that the pain is intense at that moment. Allow yourself to believe that you will heal as you work toward acceptance. It’s difficult, but not impossible. Your significant other can help you during this heightened state.
If you need help with the process, please reach out. You don’t have to do this alone.